Searching for that eternal perspective

So today sucked, but since this blog is about sharing my life with the ones I love, then we are all about truth here.

I love it here in Calgary, but sometimes I get overwhelmed when I realize my family is all in BC, that I tend to hide even from those I love, and that if I don't get this thing right I will not only be disappointing myself and my family and friends, but I'll be disappointing God.

Sometimes that's what drives me crazy, remembering that I not only have to deal with what I do and how I love and live today, but when I come before God once again I will have to do that. Granted that this great life wouldn't even be mine unless if wasn't for God, but sometimes it seems less easy that that.

Because of my faith I am free from the consequence of sin, free from that lake of fire per se, but with that freedom comes what seems like bondage at times, I wake up each day wondering if what I do wrong today will have eternal effects.....

no matter where I choose to be, in God's heart He'll always see me everywhere

But what about grace, love, mercy. I grasp they exist, it is my turn to relearn the gentle regard that God gives. Cause I know He says he sees me as perfect cause of Jesus' sacrifice...therein lies my own brain contradiction :
If I am perfect to God, then how can I live up to that....I guess I'm not expected to.

God, be beauty in my broken

Time to study, the least of my worries, but seemingly the biggest today.

SEARCHING FOR THAT ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE